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Leading with Boundaries: Handling Over-Familiarity in the Workplace

As a leader, building rapport with your team is crucial, but it's equally important to prevent that rapport from slipping into over-familiarity. Over-familiarity occurs when the boundaries between a leader and their team blur to the point where professionalism is compromised. While a warm and approachable leadership style is valuable, over-familiarity can lead to challenges in maintaining authority, respect, and overall team performance.

Addressing over-familiarity is essential for leaders who want to sustain a healthy and productive work environment. If not managed properly, it can result in a loss of respect, decreased productivity, and difficulties in decision-making. Therefore, this article explores how leaders can navigate and address over-familiarity to cultivate a respectful and productive workplace.

Over-familiarity often arises naturally when teams become closely knit with their leaders, particularly after working together for an extended period.

Over-familiarity often arises naturally when teams become closely knit with their leaders, particularly after working together for an extended period. While camaraderie can enhance collaboration and morale, it can also lead to over-familiarity. Shared experiences and mutual trust may inadvertently result in diminished professional boundaries, making it challenging to maintain the leader’s authority and the team’s respect for hierarchical structures.

Leaders may unintentionally encourage over-familiarity through their behaviour. Being overly friendly, excessively accessible, or sharing personal details inappropriately can unintentionally lead to over-familiarity. While such behaviour might be intended to create an open and approachable atmosphere, without clear boundaries, it can undermine respect and make it difficult to assert authority when necessary.

Addressing over-familiarity is crucial for effective leadership. When boundaries are not maintained, it can result in diminished respect for the leader, decreased team morale, and compromised decision-making processes. Ignoring over-familiarity can lead to issues such as favouritism, lack of accountability, and a decline in overall team performance. Recognizing and managing over-familiarity helps ensure that the leader maintains the necessary authority while fostering a collaborative and positive work environment.

Over-familiarity can lead to challenges in maintaining authority, respect, and overall team performance.

SIGNS OF OVER-FAMILIARITY

  1. Behavioural Indicators: Over-familiarity often manifests in subtle ways. Team members may begin to disregard formal communication channels, opting instead for casual, unstructured interactions. They might use overly casual language in professional settings or feel comfortable challenging authority in inappropriate ways. Sharing excessive personal information or expecting the leader to engage in personal matters beyond professional interactions are also signs that the boundaries of professionalism are becoming blurred.
  2. Impact on Leadership: When over-familiarity sets in, it can diminish a leader’s effectiveness. The leader may find it challenging to assert authority, enforce rules, or make difficult decisions. The respect that is essential for leadership can erode, leading to a decline in team discipline and productivity.

As the saying goes, “familiarity breeds contempt.” It’s important to understand that being professional means having the ability to set and maintain boundaries.

STRATEGIES TO ADDRESS OVER-FAMILIARITY

As the saying goes, "familiarity breeds contempt." It's important to understand that being professional means having the ability to set and maintain boundaries. To maintain appropriate boundaries with colleagues and those you lead, consider the following effective strategies:

  1. Lead by example: Set the tone for appropriate behaviour in the workplace by modelling and maintaining appropriate boundaries. Avoid engaging in personal conversations that can lead to over-familiarity, and focus on work-related interactions with your team members. For example, set expectations around communication protocols and the use of formal titles or language in professional settings. While it's important to be approachable, leaders must prioritize professionalism and respect.
  1. Consistent Professionalism: Leaders should model the behaviour they expect from their team. This means maintaining a consistent level of professionalism in all interactions, regardless of how close the relationships are. By consistently demonstrating professionalism, leaders set the standard for how they expect to be treated by their team. Sometimes, people may become over-familiar because they don't realize their behaviour is inappropriate. Address this directly by saying, "I don't like it when instructions are disregarded; it affects the team's productivity," or "I'm sorry, but I don't appreciate being spoken to or touched in that manner."
  1. Effective Communication: Open and honest communication is key to addressing over-familiarity. If a leader notices that boundaries are being crossed, they should address it directly and privately. The goal is to correct the behaviour without alienating team members or creating unnecessary tension. Make it clear that you value professionalism and respect in the workplace, and expect all team members to abide by these standards. Encourage your team members to speak up if they feel uncomfortable with any interactions or behaviours.

Fostering a culture of respect and transparency in the workplace, where everyone feels comfortable expressing their concerns and feedback, is also important. Training your team members on appropriate workplace behaviour can be a proactive step in preventing over-familiarity and can help them understand workplace boundaries and how to maintain professional relationships with their colleagues.

Sometimes, people may become over-familiar because they don’t realize their behaviour is inappropriate.

BALANCING APPROACHABILITY AND AUTHORITY

  1. Maintaining Approachability: Leaders can remain approachable without losing authority by maintaining an open-door policy with clear professional expectations. This balance ensures that team members feel comfortable approaching the leader while understanding the importance of maintaining a professional relationship.

    2. Delegating Responsibility: Delegating tasks and responsibilities is an effective way to empower team members while reinforcing the leader’s role. When team members take ownership of their tasks, it promotes respect for the leader's authority and minimizes the likelihood of over-familiarity.

     3. Cultural Sensitivity: Leaders working with diverse teams must be culturally sensitive when dealing with over-familiarity. Understanding and respecting cultural norms is essential, but leaders must also uphold professional standards that align with the organization’s values and goals.

CALL TO ACTION

Reflect on your current relationships with your teams and assess whether over-familiarity is affecting your effectiveness as a leader. By proactively addressing boundary issues and fostering a respectful and professional atmosphere, leaders can enhance their ability to guide their teams successfully.

Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, they are normal, and they are necessary.”                                                                                                                                                                                Doreen Virtue

Paul Adeagbo is a Research Executive at the GOTNI Leadership Centre, where he leverages his expertise in research to provide historical context and data-driven insights to support informed decision-making and knowledge sharing. His work is instrumental in shaping the strategic direction of the Centre by delivering valuable information that empowers leaders to make better decisions

2 Comments

  • Catherine Igwe November 28, 2024

    These tips were just so profound.
    Over familiarity is indeed a killer diseases in Leadership and other aspects of life.

    Thank you for sharing.

  • Adéọlá Ogundaini November 29, 2024

    This is beautifully crafted and informative. I gained value from the emphasis on maintaining professionalism while fostering healthy workplace relationships. It highlighted the importance of setting boundaries and preserving respect, which are essential for personal and organizational growth. The insights shared are practical and actionable, providing a clear path to avoid overfamiliarity without losing the essence of collaboration and mutual understanding.

    Thank you!

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